Officer Krupke
by Ember411
Summary: Just a song I heard and I am in love with it!


**I was watching West Side Story and this is my second favorite song from the movie**

**Steve: Damn, we should be actors. I can be like Tom Cruise!**

**Two-Bit: Yey! We can sing!!**

**Darry: I sing better than y'all.**

**Pony: you sing like a girl.**

**Darry: What was that, baby brother?"**

**Pony: Nothing.**

**Steve: Because lazy ass Ember here is a lazy ass-**

**Ember: Dude! I run run almost four miles a day, rock climb at the park for twenty minutes, jump around like a drunk Two-Bit and then run another four miles!**

**Steve: Because she's a **_**typing**_**lazy ass, she owns none of us, thank god! and the cop dude. Anyone is hers. Cept that Linda and Dannie chick.**

**Ember: My friend let me use her drawing characters! So thanks Vicky!**

****NEW POLL ON HOMEPAGE! PLEASE CAST UR VOTE!!****

* * *

The Greasers were all hanging out around a bank that was closed. It was midnight on a Saturday night. Even Darry was out with them for a change. Steve brought his daughter, Maria, with hI'm since no babysitter was around. And Two-Bit's sister Karen was around with them along with Dally's cousin Linda, Steve's sister Alexis, and Johnny's little sister Mary.

"So what now?" Pony asked.

"Who the fuck gives a care!" Linda shouted smoking her fifth cancer stick. "I come from NYC to this shitty place and all I hang out with are a bunch of punks."

"Then leave us Linda." Dally said taking her stick. "Leave and go back to NYC where ya com from."

"Fine." Linda said walking away. As she did a cop came over. Sodapop and Pony hid behind a brick wall quickly.

"Hey you." He pointed to Dally.

"Hey You." He said Imitating the cop.

"Who?" Two-Bit said.

"Who?" Steve and Soda added.

"What?" The three girls said.

"You," He pointed to Dally. "I'm talking to you."

"What?" Dally asked finishing his cancer stick in the mouth and let a breath out. "What now?"

"Didn't you hear me?" The cop asked.

"Yes sir!He got a 20-20 hearing." Two-Bit said as everyone let out a laugh.

"I'll be talking to him, you hood." The cop told him. He turned to Dally again and said, "Why didn't you answer me?"

"Oh jeeze," Dally said in a sarcastic tone. "My mother told me to never talk to strangers."

"Watch it you wise guy! Want to come down to the station and do Time?"

"I ain't go no Time officer Krupke. Your him right? Or are you Andrew, the twin who is called Andrew because you both being twins."

"Officer Krupke is correct and keep up what you and your little hood friends did again and I'll catch up and throw you in jail." He headed back inside his car. "Stop blocking the side walks and get going before I come back."

As the officer drove off Ponyboy and Sodapop came back out.

"Nice cop." Tim said. "Best friend?"

"Best friend forever!" Dally grinned scarcatilly. "Yo listen up to Karen, Lexi and Alien-Freak-"

"It's Mary!" The fifteen year old said.

"Your an ass." Thirteen year old Karen said.

"I LOVE YOU DALLY!" Alexis said and laughed on the ground like crazy. "All the girls love you...like a fat boy loves cake!"

This Time it was Alexis and Two-Bit laughing on the ground. No one paid attention to the girls laughing on the ground.

"You know, if they want hoods like us, than we should give them hood." Tim said standing up.

* * *

**Tim (spoken) **  
(I'mitating Officer Krupke)  
Hey, you!

**Dally (spoken) **  
Who Me?

**Tim (spoken) **  
(as Krupke)  
Yeah, you! Gimme one good reason  
For not draggin ya down to the  
Stationhouse, ya hood.

**Dally (sings on knees) **  
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke,  
Ya gotta understand--  
Its just our bringin-upke  
That gets us outta hand.  
Our mothers all are junkies,  
Our fathers all are drunks.  
Golly Moses -- natcherly were hoods.

**ALL singing at "Tim"**  
Gee, Officer Krupke, were very upset;  
We never had the love that every  
Child oughta get.  
We aint no delinquents,  
Were misunderstood.  
Deep down inside us there is good!

**Dally**  
There is good!

**ALL **  
There is good, there is good,  
There is untapped good.  
Like inside, the worse of us is good.

**Tim (I'mitating Krupke) **  
Thats a touchin good story.

**Dally **  
Lemme tell it to the world!

**Tim (I'mitating Krupke)(hits Dally's head with newspaper)**  
Just tell it to the Judge.

**Dally (to Darry) **  
Dear kindly Judge, your Honor,  
My parents treat me rough.  
With all their marijuana,  
They wont give me a puff.  
They didnt wanna have me,  
But somehow I was had.  
Leapin lizards --thats what I'm so bad!

**Darry (I'mitating a Judge) **  
Right!  
Why Officer Krupke, you're really a square;  
This boy dont need a judge, he  
Needs a analysiss care!  
Its just his neurosis that oughta be curbed--  
He's psychologically disturbed.

**Dally **  
I'm disturbed!

**ALL **  
Were disturbed, were disturbed,  
Were the most disturbed,  
Like were psychologically disturbed.

**Darry (spoken) **  
Hear ye, Her ye! In the opinion  
Of this court, this child is  
Depraved on account he aint had a normal home.

**Dally (spoken)**  
Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived!

**Darry (as judge - spoken)  
**So take him to a headshrinker.

**Dally (to Sodapop)(sings)  
**My Daddy beats my Mommy,  
My Mommy clobbers me,  
My Grandpa is a Commie,  
My Grandma pushes tea.  
My sister wears a mustache,  
My brother wears a dress.  
Goodness Gracious, thats why I'm a mess!

**Sodapop (as psychiatrist)  
**Yes!  
Officer Krupke, he shouldn't be here.  
This boy don't need a couch, he needs  
A useful career.  
Societys played him a terrible trick,  
And sociologically he's sick!

**Dally  
**I am sick!

**ALL  
**We are sick, we are sick,  
We are sick sick sick  
Like were sociologically sick!

**Sodapop (speaks as psychiatrist)  
**In my opinion, this child does not need  
To have his head shrunk at all.  
Juvenile delinquency is purely a  
Social disease.

**Dally (spoken)  
**Hey, I got a social disease!

**Sodapop (hits dally with newspaper) (spoken as psychiatrist)  
**So take him to a social worker!

**Dally (to Two-Bit and Steve)(sing)  
**Dear kindly social workers,  
They tell me get a job,  
Like be a soda-jerker,  
Which means like be a slob.  
Its not I'm anti-social,  
I'm only anti-work.  
Gloryosky, thats why I'm a jerk!

**Two-Bit and Steve (as social workers)  
**Eek!  
Officer Krupke, you've done it again.

**Steve**  
This boy dont need a job, he needs a  
Year in the pen.

**Two-Bit**  
It ain't just a question of misunderstood;  
Deep down inside him, hes no good!

**Dally  
**I'm no good!

**ALL  
**Were no good, were no good,  
Were no earthly good,  
Like the best of us is no damn good!

**Darry  
**The trouble is hes lazy.

**Ponyboy (hits dally with newspaper)  
**The trouble is he drinks

**Johnny (hits dally with newspaper)  
**The trouble is hes crazy.

**Two-Bit and Steve (hits dally with newspaper, each)  
**The trouble is he stinks,

**Mary, Alexis and Karen (kick hI'm)  
**The trouble is hes growing.

**Sodapop (hits dally with newspaper)  
**The trouble is hes grown!

**ALL screaming at "Tim"  
**Krupke, we got troubles of our own!  
Officer Krupke,  
Were down on our knees.

**Dally sitting on Tim:**  
Cause no one wants a fella with-

**ALL:**  
A social disease.  
Officer Krupke,  
What are we to do?  
Gee, Officer Krupke --  
Krup you!

* * *

Everyone was now laughing as the song ended.

"Fuck that cop!" Dally said. "Hope he got my cousin in jail."

"Uhh...Dally." Karen said as they all stopped laughing. "Look behind yo-"

"Shut your trapper Karen!" Dally shouted. "Unlike Krupke, I love you Karen, because Krupke is an ass who should eat shit and die while fucking his mother because he not no life."

"Come with me Dallas Winston." Officer Krupke said taking him away.

"Go Dally!" The girls chanted.

"I LOVE YOU!" Alexis shouted. "LIKE A MAN AND A WOMEN WHO END UP CREATING A BABY!!!"

* * *

**review and enjoy**

**Dally: Whoa whoa! How come Maria didn't say no word?**

**Steve: That's my three month old child! YOU ASS!!!!**

**Ember: Take it outside boys....Steve what are you doing?**

**Steve: Jumping on a yellow couch. It's fun!**

***Two-Bit walks over and whispers something in his hear* :Just do it Stevie!**

**Steve: I LOVE KATIE HOLMES! I LOVE KATIE! I LOVE YOU KATIE!**


End file.
